The baby in me

Kids was always the last thing on my mind. Don't get me wrong. I want a kid eventually, but I just couldn't imagine being a mom. All my life things other than babies was all I think of. I'm very ambitious to a point of adventurous. But now that I'm a mom to be all I could think of is something to the benefit of my baby in my tummy. I guess priority changed a bit when your life changes.

My mom got married at 19 and had her last 4th child at the age of 29. So when she started to realise that younger age wasn't on my side anymore, she started to freak out. Everyday when I skype with her, she would tell me the most boring story about a lady who's getting old but had no grandchildren yet. Really mom, you're not even 50 yet.


Anyway, in the end the daughter gave in and planned a child to be conceived during spring. Happily the old lady will be having her first ever grandchild in January and they all live happily ever after.

My first trimester was no joke. I wonder why do they call it "morning sickness" when you're feeling sick the whole day. I didn't vomit or anything. It's just I had extreme nauseas the whole day. Yuck! I couldn't smell anything, I feel irritated and random street people annoyed the crap out of me. The only persons I want to be around most of the time is my husband and my family. My digestive system was haywire and most of the time I was in exhaustion. You should've seen me. 10 steps and I already feel like sleeping at the pavement. I was like a baby. Fairuz laughed at me despite he's the one who made me this way. What a nerve. And the ironic thing was, I don't want any kid to be around me. They are just too tired to watch. Now that scares me. My maternity instinct is yet to convince me.

But now that I'm 4 months along. Hello 2nd trimester and goodbye 1st trimester. I now can breath. I've started back my work and I feel productive. Other than my tummy's getting bigger, I feel healthy. There's a reason I don't blog much for July. I sleep most of the time and I don't have a camera with me. My last one got stolen and my compact just ran out of battery. And the charger? Got stolen! So remind me to buy a new camera before the baby comes. For now all I have is this crap photo taken from my phone

12 April, Nuchal scan. Check for Down Syndrome Risk.

In the UK, you'll only get a chance of twice to scan the baby in your tummy for your whole pregnancy duration. To have a private scan in a private clinic would cost you a fortune. And most people don't actually do it. I don't know how dating pregnancy works in Msia but here our midwife took care of us the whole time and we never see the doctor unless there's any complication. So far I don't have any. Alhamdulillah.

The picture above is my first scan date. The baby is 13 weeks old. And has a probability of 1/20000 risk of down syndrome. Healthy and was jumping around when we first see it on screen. Fairuz was so happy I think he cried a bit. I just feel weird that there's actually a living thing inside of me although I don't feel any flutter yet.

Now where's that maternity instinct in me? Hello?? Anybody home?

26 comments:

arin ahamad said...

alala..so cute la kak hana ni time kecil..

lovely_hunny0822 said...

Ur mum such a beautiful person like you kak hana :)

nor hanis said...

hope you will enjoy being mum until due...until u get little hana that is cute as her/his mum... :)

lovely_hunny0822 said...

your mum such a beautiful person.like you do kak hana!two gorgeous women :)

Yunne Osman said...

i have to say that you really look a lot like your mom =) i'm sorry to hear that your 1st trimester was a roller-coaster ride. and thank God all those sickness is gone now that you've reached your 2nd trimester. my whole pregnancy last time was easy peasy thank God. i never experience any kind of morning sickness. but i heard somewhere that if you had a tough 1st trimester (or even throughout the whole pregnancy), chances are you're going to have an easy delivery inshaAllah and your child is going to be easy care for too. i don't believe in such things and i'm not sure whether it's true either BUT i do believe that God is all fair. if you had a tough pregnancy, then you ought to be rewarded with an easy delivery right? i hope motherhood will be the most rewarding experience for you as it is for me because i was pretty much like you. i still don't like kids that much except for my own hahahah take care hana =)

thah salleh said...

salam hana'.. Alhamdulillah that your morning sickness has gone. your mom is very pretty and of course you are cute :)

Happy Ramadhan from me :)

eesyaheera said...

You really resembles your mother at her young age. Cantik! Take care of the little one. I'll wait for another baby's story :D

Sue Anna Joe said...

Oh my, your mom, so pretty!! Flutters will come eventually. When it does, it's the most amazing feeling ever!

Etong said...

your mom is stunningly beautiful! followed here!

Stephan Goedecke said...

This is the very first time in my whole life I was able to identify a baby on an ultrasound picture. Congratulation, you have a model in you :)

Pinkwatch said...

I have no maternity instinct in me since my first pregnancy, and guess what..? now I am on my 4th pregnancy already! every pregnancy i have a very bad sickness the whole day and night even 2 of my pregnancy, i ended up in d hospital at my first trimister because of dehydration... sigh...some people are so lucky they don't feel a thing!! but i guess there were/are so many hikmahs around that one may seen, but didn't notice... nevermind, just enjoy it, soon enough u'll miss your pregnancy when ur due date is coming near and d baby is ready to pop out..

sorry, whining so much pulak.. spoke too soon, i am about 6 weeks late than you, and still in my frist trimister and it's ramadhan now, so very frustrating with this sickness that still won't go away!! errggghhhh!! i want to fast like usual and do usual things during ramadhan, but with very very minimum energy... :(

Norr said...

Salam -

Hana, tahniah. rezeki tu...

dr info yang i dengar - woman should complete her family/ have last baby by age 35 thn. but at age 37 - i blum mula apa2 pun...blum jodohlah Hana.Semoga menikmati alam berbadan dua dengan senang hati & byk2 berzikir...sure baby you pintar sbb ibunya kan sdg menuntut ilmu....gud luck.

sue said...

TAHNIAH KAKAK!!!!!!!! *FOR UR MOM TOO..HEE*

seronoknya...terasa nak kawen pulak...=')

Limaunipis said...

if in Malaysia, we went for check up at clinics and went to the hospital when it's time to give birth. then & there we will meet the O&G

for private companies who covered for maternity, at 7 months pregnancy, you can have your check up at hospitals with O&G

Coffee Mama said...

Hi Hana,
Maybe you have heard this from lots of ppl, but I just have to say it..u looks exactly like your mom! Like seeing a mirror reflection! Hmm...about the maternity instinct..dont worry it will come eventually :-)

Ieza_fahmi said...

hello hana.salam ramadhan to you.
feel free to visit our blog on our small family business and help spread the words around.thank you!

http://elfa-design.blogspot.com/

Nnmeow said...

oh bestnya. my parents pun kahwin awal, 20 & 22 yrs old. adik yang bongsu lahir masa my mom 36 yrs old. im 23 and still single padahal i was born when she's 21. rasa macam andartu!

btw, muka your mom samanya dengan you dari that angle. hehe

Idayezid said...

masyallah.. your mom is so pretty!!! i just cant get my eyes of your mom... not in a wierd way :P
oh how people in uk do their confinement? i mean local ppl there. just wondering tho :)
nway u take care hana... cant wait to see the little one!!! *im excited already!*

Fazlina Badri said...

Seeing ur photo when you were small reminds me alot of memories.. hahaha. When you are born I was only 7 years old. Kinda weird right, to have a niece at that age.. hehehe.. but it was fun coz I didn't have little sister/brother. Kinda irritating too coz use to be the main attraction and suddenly my mom aka ur Opah was dotting on you instead of me.. but as I grow up I learn to share. Same goes when I am a mommy now. First time being pregnant makes me always wonder can I be a good mom to my kids? My husband will also be dotting on our kids instead of me now? Am I ready for this? so many questions came into my mind. Not that I don't want the baby but wasn't sure whether I'm ready or not. But after delivering and seeing the baby out into this world my perspective has changed. It was the most valuable moment that I never want to erase from my mind. Even though I didn't have a video recorder that time but it'll always be there in my brain till the day I die.

dibot said...

babe,what i wanna say here is....i miss u a lot n...congrats for the baby.u remind me on my 1st preggy...the feeling is just the same..:').niway,take care n i'm really happy to hear that u'll be a mom just like me:)))

thah salleh said...

kak hana comel..

EYJALUKMAN said...

sis hana , I wonder how your mother looks alike now as she will get her 1st grandchild before 50 .however ,take good care of yourself . enjoy every moments during pregnancy . hihi ;P

shz said...

When I got pregnant I was still in UK. At 32 weeks, I went back to Msia for good. Yes, in UK we were taken care by mid wives, even til birth.  Doctors only come in if there's a need for C-sec. I was surprised that once in Msia, there's a weekly appointment with doctor, especially when you're nearing your due date. And they scan everytime, you'll even get 3D with movies and pix burned in CD. Of course you'll have to pay for all of that. This is private hospital talking, not sure abt public hospitals..

Do u realize, how lenient the medical services in UK? If you hv a flu, just get meds from pharmacies. If u're pregnant, don't come or call to hospital if nothing's wrong. If u have H1N1, stay at home. In short, unless you're dying, then u go to hospital. Hahaha.

hiasan_dunia84 said...

wahh.pedo..dah pregnant yee..
alhamdulilah..:)
take care ya..
tak sabar nak tgk pedo JR....huhu

Iva Izman said...

Mashallah congrats on the pregnancy sis. May Allah grant you a pious child and make him/her amongst the soliheen. Btw,  I stumbled across your blog from sha's  'colours of my life' and to my surprised I saw Fairuz! He was my old school mate back in Seafield, though a year older. What a small world subhanallah. Send my salams to him from Iva :)

Babyintancom said...

Salam kenal :)

Tahniah on ur pregnancy...suke sgt dgr bila ada org pregnant :) Anyway ur mom, seriously sgt sweet dan cantik orgnya :D