On making life changing decision

Life, as the saying goes, is the sum of all your choices, but have you ever thought about just how many decisions you make in a single day? (I've even lost count of the ones I made before going to work) Most decisions are pretty mundane - hmmm, Pashmina or silk? high heels or flats? oat or yogurt? - but some are profound and life-challenging.


Most of my major decisions in life involved both my parents. They've helped me tremedously during those confuse time of my life. Which school, which university, which country, which career, which husband. I swear. Even my husband was choosen by my mother when I had a few on my list. Though of course I've kept it subtle but I think Fairuz knew about it back then. He too agree that having a few on the list is not wrong, it's your life and you have rights.

When Fairuz finished his Master degree here in London, he's to report immedidately to his supposed employer. Back then of course he was on scholarship by the biggest oil company in Malaysia. But since Fairuz and I got married just 2 month after his graduation, we wanted to stay together but can't. It was a dilema. But good thing was he got an offer , even during the credit crunch, to do a professional training with oil and gas company here. Which by the way, if he were to come back, would be an asset to the company.

Fairuz adored that he's going to work there someday and dreamed of a contribution to the country. But too bad the company was too proud for a negotiation deal. And something along the line of "You're not gonna get work anywhere if you don't work with us!" and "you're working with us not your wife!" that made Fairuz to jumped into the huge unknown.

He left them.

We would have thought huge company means huge professionalism, respect and integrity. Fairuz adore the fact of working in Malaysia (of course we do, it's where our heart is and family) but he just couldn't tolerate unprofessional act and lack of respect to employee by employer. So now he is left with almost a million dollar debt due to the breach of contract and now in long painful negotiations of paying it bits by bits.

Me : Are you regretting your decision?
Fairuz : Of course not. Not in a million years.We only live once and its the best decision I've made.
Me : But because of me and this you're in a huge debt.
Fairuz: Because of you too I'm doing something even better. Money is still just money. The company is not the one who decides our fate. Allah s.w.t is and He's with us. He's the one who gave us the blessing. .As long as our parents is okay with it. Insya'Allah, anywhere in this world if we work hard enough and pray to Allah we'll be okay. I choose what makes me happier.

See. Nobody's life is always smooth. There's up and down. And the decision we've made sometimes full of uncertainty, risk and dark tunnel. But cast that fear away. Stand up straight ,dust yourself off, work hard and always always tawakkal to Allah s.w.t after. Believe and pray to Allah for his guidance. Insya'Allah
"And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion. (Ath-thalaq, 65:3)"
There'll be a rainbow after every storm.

photos via

50 comments:

Aneesah Satriya said...

:) That's fascinating to know. I've heard other stories of scholars deliberately breaching the contracts they've signed, and it has always been looked at from that negative, disloyal point of view, but it is true that many things are greater and more important than the sponsor. All the money and rezeki came from Allah s.w.t. after all, and he's given you both solutions during tough times before. InshaAllah He has set the bestest path for you again.

The last line reminded me of a supernice song by Outlandish: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4Zi0V7O5gg

hanafedora said...

Fairuz didn't want to breach it. He just wants to be with me. Its the company who decided he breached the contract without telling him...Pfftt! Plus, contract is just a law. Not Allah's law so we can negotiate as we please. And it's supposed to be a win win situations.... But.... oh well...I have a lot to rant about but there's no use.

Thanks for the song :) Never heard of it..

Terompahsurau said...

wow..that was an interesting story to share.. and I do believe that u guys have form are a great team. I hope that u will pass this challenge with flying colours. ^^

suehanna said...

InsyaAllah! I'll pray for both of you to be eased in things that you both are doing now. Amin.

hanafedora said...

Isnya'Allah. Amin :) We're okay now. Thanks for the prayer.

hanafedora said...

Thank you :) My readers are so sweet! We're okay and Insya'Allah! :)

ecah said...

Hey blogger matey,

I feel for you. I too, have the same dilemma. I suppose we were in the same boat except that ur husband left the boat early.
Believe it or not, after dozens of istiqarah I am still looking for the signs. Its funny that now I turned down the job offer, my husband is having a second thought. He now encourages me to re-apply for second round and stay in England.
That 'big oil and gas' company is in a mess. Politics and corporate business shouldn't go hand in hand. Oh well, its their loss, not ur husband's.

Kistina94 said...

aslmkum, dearrr, ada typo change 'sifficient' to 'sufficient', and

stay strong !

hanafedora said...

waalaikummussalam... hey thanks!! corrected!

hanafedora said...

Well the reason we're here because I'm doing my PhD and coincidently fairuz got an offer for charteredship. Other wise we both will be in Malaysia. I agree that oil n gas company is a huge huge mess now.

just follow your heard. To pray Istiqarah means to ask Allah to show goodness in the decision you're making. Hence the prayer. And the sign people talked about is from your heard. Most people misunderstood that. So all you need to do is follow your heard and tawakkal. Insya'Allah all will be okay.

Laila said...

A great story! :D like it, Like what Fairuz said at the end, I'll pray for both of you!

Dina Ahmad Fodzi said...

salam..the last sentence "There'll be a rainbow after every storm."...insyaalah..Allah knows the best!

iza bakar said...

That was so sweet what you husband did! There's nothing beat the feelings of making the right decision to be with your loved one.

Nadine said...

Salam,

Hope all will be well in the end. May you both go through this easily. InsyaAllah.

naematulsaadah ismail said...

setuju dengan hana. setiap apa yang berlaku semua dah tertulis di arasy. even perjalanan semua orang berbeza, ada yang smooth je dapat apa dia nak.ada yang sikit sikit dapat apa dia perlu. sebab Allah always knows the best kan.. rasa tersentuh sangat baca entry kali ni..pengorbanan seorang suami untuk berada di sisi isteri..same goes to me.. husband banyak berkorban dan bersabar... may our marriage long lasts forever till jannah <3

rina said...

u definitely married to the right guy! hehe.
i hope things will work out fine for both of u.

there's definitely rainbow after evry storm right?
thanks for the story, it remind me not to lose hope and Allah will definitely look out for us! ^^

Ecah said...

Mine is PhD equivalent except that its called specialist training. We are contemplating to breah the contract at some point hence the comment.Might need to ask u in private. Anyway,thanks in advance and best wishes.its all gonna b worth it,iA.

Jlascanteen said...

wow.. sangat berani. and so sweet of him dahulukan isteri than the contract, company and all. Wish both of you all the best and God bless.

bella said...

sis hana! I love this entry most. everyone will face something like this one day I'm sure. I love the way sis deals with anything. I know it's hard sometimes but from it sis learnt. Actually sis I see u as a guide what will i do next and further to get whats the right and best for me in future. Thank you for all the good sharings. I pray for your success and happiness. Amin :)

nur_aqli said...

Salam,
I've been following your blog for awhile now and congrats for such interesting posts. N I do wish you strength in whatever you do. However, I'm not really a scholar or a learned person on these things but what is At Thalaq 33? It is actually the 65th surah and it has only 12 ayat...maybe what u mean is this one:
And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion. (Ath-thalaq, 65:3)
I hope this helps and again I wish the best for you :)

hanafedora said...

Salam, oh silly me. I did it again :) Thanks for the correction... I've have corrected it. Thank you soooo much.. And thanks for the prayer to. May Allah bless you

Nurtasnim said...

Assalamualaikum kak Hana,
MashaALLAH, i almost cried reading this post from you..ive been ur silent reader for quite some time. but i find this post as personal as it is to you as to me. :) yes, after a decision has been made, come what may, kan? we just have to stick to it with the highest level of tawakkal. I pray that both you and your hubands's jihad will be blessed and may ALLAH Reward you the highest level of Jannah too..Keep writing ya. Keep inspiring others. :)

hanafedora said...

I thank Allah for giving me the sweetest reader like you who prayed for a stranger like me. Thank you :) And Alhamdulillah. May Allah bless you and reward you with the highest level of Jannah too. Insya'Allah. Love -Hana

Quiyah said...

touche my dear..

S&N said...

Salam Kak Hana,

A good friend of mine forwarded your blog entry to me. I am so grateful to have read this because sometimes we feel like we are alone in this problem. My fiancĂ© and I are both under the same scholarship of this particular oil and gas company. Lately, they have approved a new policy which disallows marriage among their scholars and employees. Otherwise, it’s considered to be a breach of contract. This policy has put a setback on our marriage that was scheduled to be in two months time from now. Even when we graduate, one of us would still need to breach the contract and will still be indebted of that half a million. It seems like either way, we have a guaranteed debt in our newlywed future. I was very teary-eyed when I read this because it resonated so much with the pain my fiancĂ© and I are going through. We only want to do what is right in the eyes of Allah but instead, this flawed system only hinders what is right.

Thank you for sharing this because although you were merely ranting about the injustice of this system, but you and your husband have given us the will to carry on stronger and always strive to do what is best for our future. InsyaAllah.

God bless you and I wish you and your husband all the happiness in your marriage.

Sincerely,
S&N

Fatihah Nagib said...

rase semangat membara bile bace entry nih...

Ami Schaheera said...

true love conquers all <3 this is such a personal post abt ur life, i had no idea he had to chose. and he choose you instead of that corporate company. insyaAllah rezeki ada di mana-mana and you guys are living proof of that <3

hanafedora said...

Salam,
I personally think that the such policy is absurd. Ridiculous. I have no idea who would approved it. Of course we don't want to mix personal with business..But instead of banning it why not create a counseling department for staffs. Helping them if they're in trouble instead of rejecting them. So stupid. God seriously why won't they work around the problems. All they know is ban this and ban that. That's not very clever is it.. Haha I'm ranting now. So let's stop.

But I heard they've abolished the policy already so I guess you guys can get married :) And I wish all the best and may Allah take care of your marriage. Insya'Allah.

Love
Hana

hanafedora said...

Hey congrats babe!! She is adorable and she looks like you! I want to meet her when I'm in Msia okay :)

hanafedora said...

aww thanks ami :) Yes I totally agree.. And I made the right decision too by choosing him as a husband. He'll go high and low for me. :)

hanafedora said...

Totally agree. Thanks :) May Allah guide you through your journey. Good luck!

hanafedora said...

Hehe :) Hey what's the worst that can happen? We end up with a debt which we can totally pay back slowly. No probem.

hanafedora said...

Allah is always there to help us :)

hanafedora said...

Insya' Allah. :) Rather than following what people wants us to do. We're carving our own path with the help of Allah s.w.t

hanafedora said...

Thanks and Insya'Allah.

hanafedora said...

I totally agree. :)

hanafedora said...

Insya'Allah. :)

hanafedora said...

Thanks! :)

kzedz said...

kak Hana,
all the best to both of you =)
semoga semuanya berjalan lancar, insyaAllah.

Amalina Anas said...

Assalam Kak Hana, I've been reading your blog for a while and I've never had the guts to comment, I don't know why LOL. I really admire your strength and your principles.. You truly are an inspiration.

I'm sorry to ask, but is your husband a student of UTP? You see.. I'm really nervous because I've recently known of Educamp, and that I've received an interview offer, alhamdulillah.. But the thing is, I don't know what I've to do.. What kind of questions would they ask and all.. I'm sorry that it is really off-topic, but if you don't mind, I would be really glad of you giving me a hand.. Thank you so much, may Allah reward your effort greatly, and may Allah lift you and your family's spirits to confront the days to come inshaallah.

hanafedora said...

Hi! Salam. Thanks. I pray that you'll get the offer if its good for you. Anyway, No. My husband studied in London in the same college as I am right now. Except he was under the sponsorship of the oil and gas company. So instead of doing a PhD like me, he worked. I'm so sorry I can't help you with the questions of the interview. We never was a student of UTP.

AYApunyaCINTA said...

Assalamualaikum..

this entry almost brought me to tears. its not that i have the same story as yours, but the way you accept it, redha and tawakkal to Allah. I have my own problem, but somehow I forgot that He's with us. Reading your entry simply reminds me on how bad person I am. Thank you for bringing me back to Him.

maja said...

wow such a BRAVE decision! i admire you! but i m sure it was the right one: money is only money.. love, family are much much MUCH more important!

eyjalukman said...

sis , be strong yah !
first time i read your blog and i fall for it . haha;D
InsyaAllah , Allah will help you in all way as long as you believe Him ;)

greenflower said...

Hana dear, I can totally relate to you. I am in the company, at least for now. Don't worry, tons of people do and they are doing OK, or not greater:)

greenflower said...

Hana dear, I can totally relate to you. I am in the company, at least for now. Don't worry, tons of people do and they are doing OK, or not greater:)

AYApunyaCINTA said...

Assalamualaikum..

this entry almost brought me to tears. its not that i have the same story as yours, but the way you accept it, redha and tawakkal to Allah. I have my own problem, but somehow I forgot that He's with us. Reading your entry simply reminds me on how bad person I am. Thank you for bringing me back to Him.

Zairihan Abdul Halim said...

Salam.

I'm kind of a new loyal reader =)
It's a beautiful and touchy story with a very good lesson. May the blessings of Allah be upon you.

Greenflower84 said...

i mean tons of people leave the company and they are doing far better outside, what your hubby did was right, but he can always write to the company & request to be in service when he's back in malaysia, doesn't he?

Cawo said...

" Nobody's life is always smooth. There's up and down. And the decision
we've made sometimes full of uncertainty, risk and dark tunnel. But cast
that fear away. Stand up straight ,dust yourself off, work hard and
always always tawakkal to Allah s.w.t after. Believe and pray to Allah
for his guidance. Insya'Allah"


that quote inspired me soooo much jazaka allaah for it and i hope and pray that Allah make it easy for you guys everything IA .