But graduating with an honours degree like everybody else didn't leave a space of advantage to me. I found that it was really hard for me to get a job that I'm satisfied with. Yes I was being choosy at that time, who doesn't when she worked so hard, helping her best friend copy her assignments (is there a bob here? hehe clever one that one), staying up all night with dark circles to get a very good results
and receiving pages and pages of certificates and achievements. So I believed I deserved to choose.
And then dad insisted that I continue my Master's straight away. I hesitated but I went along with him for a scholarship interview. I got the scholarship on the spot and the interviewer asked me to find the university of my choice anywhere in the world. It felt like what you would think it felt. I was ecstatic. Then the rest was history.
The thing about doing a Master degree in coursework is it didn't give me much surprise - academic wise. It's like doing a bachelor degree except it was in different country. And there's a lot of things and variables you have to coped with. Your own time management, your money, your apartment, the alien english accent and most of all your friends. Before I fly on, dad warned me to be friends with the locals and quit being in my comfort zone. Hard? Totally, especially when I didn't have anyone I knew here. So I made friends with my flatmates.
But the good thing is my motivation is there.
Motivation, ahhh it's so hard to find these days. I really thought PhD would not be as bad but it's not. It drives me crazy sometimes and at the same time gave me satisfaction. You would think living overseas is a bed of roses. Well it's not when you're doing a PhD (it is - if you're in bachelor degree) cause let me tell you this. Everything would have it's pros and cons. Like you win some you lose some. You got to travel and sometime shops but you also sacrificed a lot, you miss home, you only get to enjoy friends weddings through browsing facebook pictures, your lil cousin don't recognize you because you didn't get to see them growing, you don't have the luxury of buying char kuew tiow at the mamak stall when you're lazy or so busy to cook, your daily routine involved work in the day and sleep through the night. Mostly not in our comfort zone.
But after mentioning all this it seems that it's better to be home in the bed of roses, Right? Wrong! Well, it's because I'm grateful I can make my life to mean more. I want to be able to not regretting any steps that I didn't take knowing that I could've path this life accordingly. With all this sacrifices, in a hope one day that every reward tasted sweeter and every hardships seems bearable. To be grateful. To be somebody who's not a quitter and who finishes what she had started even if all the fibre in her body hates it. Because experiences is the best teacher that helps to build your character.
I think everything that happened in ones life there's a reason. A reason that god knows what's best. And so we need to be grateful and work at our best means. Insya'Allah