Come What May

I have always thought I have my life at the tip of my finger. I've my life sorted out already like a homemade recipe just ready to be made. I would write about my hopes and dreams and future wannabes in a diary/paper ; like I would have a master degree and become an engineer and I would then fold the paper and prepare the ingredients needed.I would work my ass off to get the most delicious homemade success based on the recipe written. So by the time I would have to open it back,I can make sure a few of them can be checked accordingly. And by that time, I can't help myself smiling or even letting out the sound 'heh' while I read through it. Proud.

But until yesterday, I met this lady named Evren, half Greek half Turkish, in my french class asked me

"So, what is your plan after you finished your research?" while we were walking towards the tube station. We had the chance to bond after we went through a minor lostness in the department of Maths.

I was surprised as I didn't actually have an answer to that as I used to have all my future plans laid out neatly even in a piece of a paper.

Evren told me she is 32, which she doesn't at all resemble to. Had been married once for 2 years and got divorced. Have no children. Travel around the the world and stayed at a few countries due to her nature of work. Supposedly reside in London for 2 months. But yet, she has been here for almost 3 years now. Tired of traveling. So when I told her that I do not know what's going to happen after I finish my writing up. Evren reminded me it's OK. Because suddenly I have this feeling that anything can happen in the future which sometimes can be bothering. Be it good or bad, better or worse, in sickness or in health, living in the UK or back for good in Malaysia.

Life is beautiful as we never know what is around the corner. Being a spoilt as I am, I keep whining to my dad about the difficulties I have to suffer while living here. All the sacrifices I have to make. And the feeling of left out-ness that I have to endure because I have to finish up my work that I've began. And because of that difficulties, my goal now is to just to have the doctorate and forget about everything else. But dad being a wise one as he always does, said "It's not the destiny that matters. It's the journey. The harder you work, the more experience that you will gain. The more you fall. The more that you'll learn to stand up tall. And taller.

Oh well. Life is beautiful on its own way.

Come what may. All I have to worry about now is how well did I do my work today.

10 comments:

SoFiA.opY said...

oh saya suka ini entry!!

Saya suka entry yang memberi inspirasi!

Terima Kasih, Hana'!

;)

Dayang Afiza said...

i like this post..buat saya lebih bersemangat ;) thanks kak hana

s h e d a said...

true, from small things (as the title) u make it looks so big and meaningful. life will always b hard but without struggling there won't b anything to achieve in the end. thanx 4 making my day by reading this :)

honey said...

Hey..tibe2 orang rindu.Ingat tak kita pernah main syampoo-syampoo rambut kat umah yen.hehe..rindu la nak main lari-lari ngan dia..lari-lari dukung kucing..ngee

mfo said...

Nice entry! Very Inspirational..


psstt..wide tau! haha :P

i am legend said...

dear hana,

Semua persoalan/jawapan yang kita dengari setiap hari mampu menjadi sesuatu yang bermakna hanya apabila kita mengambil masa untuk mendengar, mentafsir, memahami dan seterusnya mengaitkannya dengan kehidupan sedia ada. i.e. jika seseorang bertanya, nyawa siapakah yang akan anda selamatkan jika perlu pilih hanya satu, ayah atau suami? jika kita anggap soalan itu sebagai "sampah", ia akan hanya dibiarkan sebagai sampah tetapi jika kita mendengar, mentafsir, memahami dan kaitkan dengan diri sendiri, mungkin kita sedar yang jawapannya terlalu sukar malah hampir mustahil untuk kita beri. Diwaktulah itulah lahirnya sesuatu dalam diri kita yang dipanggil...

rgds,
iamlegend

Afif Ter said...

excellent post!

Hanafedora said...

Thank you all for the comments :)

Afif Ter said...

excellent post!

i am legend said...

dear hana,

Semua persoalan/jawapan yang kita dengari setiap hari mampu menjadi sesuatu yang bermakna hanya apabila kita mengambil masa untuk mendengar, mentafsir, memahami dan seterusnya mengaitkannya dengan kehidupan sedia ada. i.e. jika seseorang bertanya, nyawa siapakah yang akan anda selamatkan jika perlu pilih hanya satu, ayah atau suami? jika kita anggap soalan itu sebagai "sampah", ia akan hanya dibiarkan sebagai sampah tetapi jika kita mendengar, mentafsir, memahami dan kaitkan dengan diri sendiri, mungkin kita sedar yang jawapannya terlalu sukar malah hampir mustahil untuk kita beri. Diwaktulah itulah lahirnya sesuatu dalam diri kita yang dipanggil...

rgds,
iamlegend